so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
