Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
