Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
