I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
