its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
