I'm really into asian looking animals
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
