just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
