I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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