He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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