I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
