I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
