I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize