just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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