All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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