No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
