Your dad touched me again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didn't notice because vodka
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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