I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
