Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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