well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Even my vagina gasped.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize