Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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