i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
