dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he thought i was a dude.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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