The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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