Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
