Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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