I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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