this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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