how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
