Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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