Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
