I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
