The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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