we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
