She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
