keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize