quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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