No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
