he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
