You can't special order awesome
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize