So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
