gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my shit smells like andre
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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