Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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