I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
