Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
