shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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