it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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