so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
