we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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