hotel room ftw
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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