I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize