Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize