Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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