I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
