Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
