I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
