Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
