I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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