they said they heard you say put it in my butt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
