Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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