Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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