why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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