Betty ford says i'm here all night
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize